The Super​-​Secret EP

by brentalfloss

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about

This is a short album of songs I wrote before I was known as "brentalfloss."

credits

released 19 May 2011

All vocals, composition, and accompaniment by brentalfloss. Mixing and mastering by DJ Skinneraudio.

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Track Name: Mr. Carey Christenberry (The Teacher Song)
Mr. Carey Christenberry
You talk like a lady and you’re five feet tall
You tried your very best to teach us all Thoreau, oh...
Mr. Carey Christenberry
You told my mom at open house you loved my mind
I wish I’d read more of the books you assigned, ya know? Oh...

Would I be good at life and art, oh...
if you hadn’t told me I was smart
and set me apart?

Mr. Carey Christenberry,
You go to church but don’t believe a God exists
Only do it ‘cause your beautiful wife insists you go,
yeah we know
Mr. Carey Christenberry,
You could have had a column in a magazine,
But now your average reader is 17 or so, oh...

I wanted to be like you some day, oh...
Most of my friends thought you were gay
What does that say?

I guess I should have told you then,
Oh oh oh oh oh
‘Cause I won’t get that chance again
No oh oh oh-oh
You were weird, you were loud, you made me smile, you made me mad,
You were the best teacher I ever had,
so I hope you’re listening

Mr. Carey Christenberry
You made us write a piece about what we’d learned
I didn’t quite get it all on the paper I turned in though, no
Mr. Carey Christenberry
You may as well have taught me how to tie my shoes
Considering the frequency with which I use
The stuff I learned watching you blow a fuse...

Mr. Carey Christenberry, Mr. Carey Christenberry

I guess that’s all I had to say...
I still wanna be like you some day,
Mr. Christenberry
Track Name: It's Time I Told You
There’s something I’ve been keeping from you
for a long, long time
I’ve waited for the perfect cue and today is prime

So brace yourself... ‘cause here I go...
There’s something that I want you to know...

There's a really important thing I have to say,
So I’m gonna tell you right here, right away-ay-ay...

Do you promise me you’ll listen?
Promise you won’t laugh?
‘Cause if you did, you know it’d cut my confidence
in half…. of half… of half…
please don’t laugh.

Because
This is the day I reveal to you, for real to you, how I feel. To you.
This is the day I expose it, disclose it, here goes….. it’s just… that… I… should have told you sooner,
but I…don’t think it’s ever been opportuner!

So now I’ve gotten off my tush,
no more beating around the bush
I’m gonna tell you by all means, I’ll spill my heart;
and the beans!

It’s time I confessed, got it all off my chest.
Heck, by now you may have even guessed…

I luhh… I luhhh...

I wrote a little poem, for such a situation
So I hope you get my meaning from this little recitation…
(Produces piece of paper.)
Excuse my hesitation…
But, um...

(Reads.)
'It’s time I told you...
That all I want forever is to hold you,
It must have taken God a while to mold you,
My heart falls out the moment I behold you..."
(She kisses him.)
…I’m glad I told you.
Track Name: Turn the Page
I don't want to turn the page, ooh
Let me look at you, one last time to see your face,
I don't want to look away, I just want to hear you say
that you're gonna stay.

Let me hold you one last time,
Don't you know I'm gonna cry,
Five more minutes till you leave my life, for too long...

And as I watch you walk away, all I want is one more day,
One more second in your eyes,
Now I have to turn that page, turn my back on yesterday,
So I don't have to watch us die

Thanks for thinkin' I was something
Don't you know I'll miss your eyes
Guess I'll always have the memories of you...
looking back at me,

And as I watch you walk away, all I want is one more day, one more second in your eyes...
Now I have to turn that page, turn my back on yesterday, so I don't have to watch us die.
Track Name: This Coming Thursday [EXPLICIT]
This coming Thursday
Is Valentine’s day
I was just wonderin’
What you might say

If I were to ask you to forget what we both know
And maybe pretend that it’s a—about a year ago...
I’m really not asking much, and how long could it take? All I’m saying is...
Why don’t we fuck for old times’ sake?

I could bring flowers
I know you like that stuff
I would bring chocolates
But you’re fat enough

...and you know what, I am too,
that’s kinda like the point
So put your lips on me and not another lonely joint
For one night only, we could have and eat our cake!
Stop acting like you’re such a goddamn prize,
Come on let’s fuck for old times’ sake!

See, this is why we could never work out:
You’re a bitch, and I’m too nice.
Don’t give me that same old shit about how I want the goods but won’t pay the price,
I know you’ve got your pride, but put that shit aside
I’m laying my balls on the line for just one night with you Don’t act like you have plans;

...Oh you really do.
First date with someone new?
Oh. I did not know that.

I guess that’s different
So now I’m a joke
Guess it’s called a break-up
‘Cause something’s broke
I should hang up now
Yeah we’re better off, you’re right,
Unless, of course, you don’t have plans for later on tonight...

Hey look, I dare you to tell me that I’m not the best you’ve had ...
Okay, I dare you to tell me that I’m not among the best you’ve had...
Okay, forget it, look,
Look, if I take a cab straight there will you still be awake?

It’s not about Valentine’s day at all,
It just gave me a better excuse to call,
So save me from feeling stupid and small,
You won’t regret it much in the long long haul!

Why don’t we fuck for old time’s sake?

...hello?
Track Name: The Pussycat Song
Hey, I’m sorry to arrive unannounced like this
I’m just hungry as a mangy little cat can be
I know I haven’t come around for a long, long, time
But I was wonderin’ if you had a bowl of cream for me

I got a crazy kinda life in this neighborhood
I don’t get love and affection like a housecat would
But if you dished up a fish with a twist of lime
Maybe I could be your pussycat from time to time

You see I rove around, ain’t got no domicile
Why don’tcha rub my little belly for a little while?
Tonight I wanna be your pussycat...

I spent a long hard day lookin’ through the trash
And now I’m wonderin’ if you got a comfy spot to crash
So if you wanna give a hand to a cuddly beast
Why don’tcha open up a can of that Fancy Feast

You know I tramp and traipse, I ain’t got no place
But just try and say no to this cute little face
Tonight I wanna be your pussycat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
It’s just tonight
So when I go, don’tcha holler
Don’t wanna tag or a collar
I’m born to stray.

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Don’t get me wrong,
You’re my favorite lady.
But you don’t want me; I’m shady.
And trust me, I’ll be back some other day…

I gotta start a fight, I gotta scratch and bite
But don’tcha know it gets so lonely on a cold, cold night
You got a lush, plush lawn under green treetops
And whatcha got inside is makin’ me lick my chops...

It’s not an easy life stayin’ out so late
Maybe someday I’ll be ready to domesticate
But for tonight I wanna be… you know I wanna be,
Tonight I wanna be… you know I’m gonna be,
Tonight I wanna be… your pussycat.
MEOW!