What if This CD​.​.​. Had G​-​RATED Lyrics?

by brentalfloss

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about

Same awesome songs from the first brentalfloss CD; now with family-friendly lyrics.

credits

released 18 June 2011

Recorded at Skinneraudio Studios. Produced by brentalfloss. Mixed and mastered by Joe Skinner. Accompaniment arranged and performed by brentalfloss and Joe Skinner unless otherwise specified. The Megas are Josh Breeding, Eric Von Doymi, Greg Schneider,and Mike Levinson. “I Want to be The One/Dr. Wily 1-2 ” originally recorded at Dr. Light Studios, produced by The Megas, mixed by Joe Marlett, mastered by Pete Lyman. The Konami Kode are Neal Evans, Nick Matzke, Paul Meyer, Ray Reich, and John Servo.“Paperboy” originally recorded at A1 Studios; produced/mixed/mastered by Paul Meyer, Nick Matzke, and Neal Evans. Special thanks to Mikki Skinner, Quinn Skinner, Corey Pettit, Laura Wiese, Curtis Bonds, The Brothers Chaps, Matt Villanueva, Andrea Villanueva, Rocio Lopez, my nephews Evan & Jackson, Travis Langworthy, Chad James, Youtube.com, Screwattack.com, Mom and Dad Floss, and all the fans! Front and back cover CD art by Parker Simmons and Brent Black. Music composed by brentalfloss, Yoshihiro Sakaguchi, Nobuo Uematsu, Yasuaki Fujita, Manami Matsumae, Ogeretsu Kun, Mark Van Hecke, Hal Canon, Mark Cooksey, Koji Kondo, Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka, and Kelly Keagy.

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Track Name: Ducktales With G-Rated Lyrics (Moon Theme)
[Spoken intro]

Ducks, yes ducks in outer space
From the Disney Afternoon, to the moon!
Wait Uncle Scrooge, you need a suit out there
How are you alive? (How are you alive?)
You need heat (You need heat) also air (also air)
That’s gotta be one expensive cane
You are up on the moon looking for treasure, you’ve gone insane

Ohhhhhh
Crazy duck in space!
Yeah, you’re really greedy and you’re old
You’ve got a creepy Scottish accent dude, and you bathe in gold
Bathe in gold! (That can’t be good for you)

This oughta be the ending credits theme
It’s a soaring song flying high like a dream
But it was used as a level tune, underscoring a bird-brained, anthropomorphic mallard
Pillaging the moon!

Abbadabba
Crazy duck in space!
Oh, I hope you keep me in the will
You could buy the moon and say “Put it on my bill”
On my bill! Get it Scrooge? You’re a duck!

You’ve been on every single continent from Africa to Asia to cold Antarctica
I always thought that ducks flew far away in wintertime
But you took it way too far-ctica, way too far-ctica!

Wait Uncle Scrooge, won’t you take me along?
You’re a nincompoop. But it’s such, such a great song!
Though you’re a bird, you’re no wise old owl.
Houston, we have a problem: Our shuttle captain’s a raving waterfowl.

Supercalafragalisti—
Crazy duck in space!
Dude, your nephews miss you, please go back!
Also, you’re not wearing pants, I can see your quack!
See your quack! It’s a pun, and it’s about ducks!

Ohhhhhh
Scrooge McDuck you’re on the
Scrooge McDuck you’re on the
Scrooge McDuck you’re on the
Moon!
Track Name: Tetris With G-Rated Lyrics
(One-y and a two-ey and a three and four)
Shapes made of four colored blocks like a T or a box rain down like 8-bit hail
You can place them in rows, but everybody knows that this game is for females (HEY!)

Girls prefer it to balloons (To balloons)
Grandma says it’s better than prunes (Keeps me regular!)

This is a game for a dame, every gal just the same from San Jose to Rome (that's quite a long way)
It can brighten your day if your DNA came with two x chromosomes (HEY!)

Your mom loves it, mine does too (mine does too)
Roll your eyes, but my theory’s still true (Hah-em-hah-em-hehh!)

Deep in a girl’s GIANT brain, there's a spot near a vein (Right here)
Which regulates their bliss (The T-spot)
Once they see falling blocks, the T-spot unlocks
And they start to sing like this (PLEASE!)

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
WE LOVE TETRIS, LA LA LA LA

Here is a trick that works well
To cheer up a madmoiselle
When her patience runs too low (I'm so mad!)

If you sing this on key,
Immediately she'll forget that you’re a schmo (Try it!)

LA LA LA LA (I'm still mad.) LA LA LA (Is that the Tetris song?)
LA LA LA LA (I love Tetris!) LA LA LA (I’m happy now!)

Tetris helps when girls wish we weren’t here
They love Tetris if I didn’t make that clear!
Track Name: Corey (G-Rated)
Every day I open up my laptop and log on to Screwattack.com
‘Cause there’s a special someone I’m longing to gaze upon
What a very special person who I can’t wait to see
At least she’s very special to me...

Corey, baby what’s your story?
You’re the only girl on Screwattack, don’t put up a front ‘cause girl, I got yo back
I’d do anything for you, I’d even buy a Power Glove
To smash a question box and find the power-up of love!
The things I feel for you are self-explanatory
Oh-woh-oh-oh... Corey.

(Verse two)
Corey, there is no category
With which to describe the way you make life fun
You’re like Zelda, Samus, Peach, and Lara Croft in one
I’d be honored and obliged if you’d trade consoles with me
I would take great care of your mint condition SNES while you borrowed my limited edition Wii
I come back like a magical boomerang why don’cha you add me to your inventory?
Oh-woh-oh-oh... Corey... yeah!

I know I’m not so great at subtlety
When it comes to writing odes
And I’m always gonna have to struggle with the fact that you don’t like Battletoads,
No!

And I know I’m not that smart,
There’s frankly no limit to what I can bungle…
But I do know how to love, it’s written all across my heart
I’d even eat all your hair bugs if we lived in the jungle
I wanna live in the jungle with yooooou!

Corey, let’s write our own love story, (in the jungle!)
Let me send flowers to your workplace
Even though I’m bald and kind of a jerkface

Sonic and Tails only need one ring to stay footloose and fancy-free
And incidentally, I’m only gonna need one ring when I get down on one knee

Let’s get married and have kids, and maybe one day we’ll all be on Maury
Oh-woh-oh-oh...
Oh-woh-oh-oh...
Oh-oh-oh-oh...
Corey... yeah!
Track Name: Final Fantasy Victory Theme With G-Rated Lyrics
You just got pwned, FTW!
Now you're pwned, you're pwned cause we pwned you
We took you by surprise (Excuse me. Yes? PWNED!)
We just saw you roaming the forest
And said let's pwn those guys (Yeah! Good idea!)
You're a squirrel who somehow has money
And sometimes swords and shields
I don't care if you're a cute bunny,
I'll pwn you good for realz!

Let’s all polka now that we’ve pwned you
We're happy that we won! (Yay! Woo-hoo! Whee!)

Now we might peruse your belongings
And dance more when we’re done! (Let’s boogie!)

La la la, you're pwned la la la la
We pwned you, la la la
Pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn
La la la la la la!!!
Pwn!!!
Track Name: Good Example (G-Rated)
SPOKEN INTRO:
[Turn my snare up, valued friend and sound engineer…
Turn my clavinet up.
You know what, just turn it all up. I can’t hear anything.]

Lemme tell you all about a guy you don't know, yo
My straight up mate up in the state of O-hi-o, yo
A real swell dude with a good attitude
He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke and he's never ever rude

He's a teacher, glad to meet-cha and he plays him some b-ball
Degree in PE, he knows the way to be, y'all
He's competitive, ahead of it, he'll never retreat
But he always shakes hands after win or defeat

He's a good example
(He's a good example, amigo!)
Teaches discipline and personal responsibility, yo!
He's a good example (With a very humble ego)
and a better set of etiquette than you or me, so...

You don't wanna mess, his best will put you to the test
His skillz are mad he'll beat you bad at Mario Kart DS
So if you wanna play a master, just give him a jingle
He's stable, strong and able, and ladies: he's single

He don't need bling, like diamonds or clocks
He don't need to lift weights, he’s good right outta the box
From the chocolate locks to his fresh gym socks
I'm his number one fan, this mammajamma rocks!

He's a good example (He's a good example, sugar!)
Teaches integral and critical decision making fool!
He's a good example (Never flicked a single booger.)
And he never did drugs and he stayed in school!

He likes
Board games
Routines
The rat pack
The A-team
Rainbow Six
Young MC
And apparently me!

He's a good example (He's a good example, madam)
He's a credit to society and takes a moral stance, woah!
He's a good example (Vaccinations? Yeah, he’s had’em.)
And if you're really lucky you might get to see him dance, yo.
Track Name: Mega Man 3 With G-Rated Lyrics
I am Mega Man (Mega Man)
I'm blue and cyan (Two different colors)
The creation of Dr. Light, or "Right" if you are from Japan—also known as Rockman.

My Mega Buster can cut the mustard, I am flustered, as you see…
POW POW!
Eight robot bosses in eight levels dishevel and revel in devilry,
I'll steal their weaponry

Mega mega man mega mega man
Mega mega man mega mega man
Mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega
Mega Man!

I am also known as the "Blue Bomba"
I could steal the powers from a llama
Pwn a robot fish, pwn a robot frog,
and then I ride off on my robot dog (Wheee!)

Mega man, Mega Man three.
(Part three)

(One, two, one two three four)

I am Mega Man
I love to take long moonlit walks on the sand!
Put together by Dr. Right or Light if you're American
I eat all my Mega Bran

I live in 2-D and it's my duty to destroy the master bots
POW POW!
If you're aghast and you can't last there's a fast way to pass all those nasty bots:
Blue and red password dots!

Mega mega man, mega mega man
Mega mega man, mega mega man
mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega
Mega Man!

I am also known as “The Blue Bomb-a”
Dr. Light has made me blue pajamas
As for robot help, dogs are much preferred
'Cause I can’t do much with a robot bird

Mega Man, Mega Man, three!
(Part three!)
Track Name: Bubble Man With G-Rated Lyrics
You shall be pwned! Once I have thrown: Bubbles! Bubbles!
My tools are clean! By that I mean: Bubbles! Bubbles?!

You’re in trouble, make it double, I’ll reduce you to mega rubble
You will crumble, I won’t fumble, yeah you heard me, I did not mumble

Oh, Mega Man you’ve messed with the wrong robot this time
Face my wrath, I’m gonna clean your clock with a big bubble bath
I’ve got soap and water too, I’m gonna mix it all together and make some bubbles
Which I’ll use for pwning you!
You better shave if you don’t want to be pwned with stubbles!
...on your face.

I will scuttle you with bubbles, then I shall dance or perhaps I’ll juggle
You won’t escape my spiky aquarium of doom, and what’s more:
I had Chipotle for lunch, now there’s bubbles galore!
I am like a submarine!
Your little cannon cannot penetrate this hull man
Invincible as Wolverine
As long as you do not have metal blades like Metal Man

Ah, Mega Man, you’ve finally arrived. Wait, are those metal blades?
Track Name: Final Fantasy Classic With G-Rated Lyrics
Once again the world might fall prey to an ancient evil
Once again we're hurled into darkness and great upheaval
Those who can enlist, let's unite and we'll fight together
We must save the crystals or orbs or the moon—whatever.

Come, lets fly, we'll sail where the wind may take us through that starry sky,
‘cause apparently back then they had ships that could do that

Draw your sword and stick it in trees that have human features
Journey toward the thicket and pickpocket woodland creatures
Though the villain shames us, we'll pwn all his dark abettors
Funny how our names all contain less than seven letters

Shine your light, the forces of evil can't outlast a mage, a knight, a weird little kid and a ninja master
Key change, pwned foe!

Raise our levels high cross the mountains and plains and oceans
Don't forget to buy several truckloads of tents and potions
Storm the villain's hideout and keep your courageous spirit
Scream a battle cry loud enough that he or she can hear it

Finally, the hunter of souls shall be the hunted
Now they'll see we'll save humankind like we always wanted
When we were little
Summer vacation,
Dancing in our jammies,
Cause we beat Final Fantasy!
Yeah!
Track Name: A Boy and His Blob Mini-Lyric
There’s a blob and there’s a boy
There’s a boy and there’s a blob
There’s a boy here, there’s a blob here
There’s a boy and also a blob
Boy, blob, boy, blob
Blob, boy, blob boy,
Boy, blob, blob boy, bloyb!
Track Name: brentalfloss feat. The Megas - Gotta Run/Be The One (G-Rated)
[Spoken intro]

THE MEGAS:
In the year 200X, Dr. Light created a super robot named Mega Man
Mega Man defeated Dr. Wily once.
Now, Dr. Wily has created eight new robots of his own.

My name is Mega Man, and I’ll do all I can to save mankind.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Gotta run gotta run now, gotta run gotta run now, and spryly,
Gotta climb gotta climb now, way up highly
Gonna get gonna get you, Dr. Wily
I am Mega Man, here’s my mega plan, pwn you!

THE MEGAS:
Metal Man.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Bubble Man!

THE MEGAS:
Air Man.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Quick Man!

THE MEGAS:
Wood Man.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Heat Man!

THE MEGAS:
Flash Man.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Crash Man.

THE MEGAS:
Defeated.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Yeah!

THE MEGAS:
I want to be the one who fights for justice, I want to be the one
(I’ve got to be the one)
I want to be the one who fights against you, Dr. Wily

BRENTALFLOSS:
Although I like your mustache.

THE MEGAS:
I’ve been built by Dr. Light, a robot built to fight for what’s right against wrong.

BRENTALFLOSS
I am Mega Man, that’s my mega plan, fly fly!

THE MEGAS:
I will save all of you, it’s Mega Man part two, I’m dressed in blue, this is my song.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Yes, it shall be known, Wily shall be pwned, that’s you!
Gotta run gotta run now, gotta run gotta swim too, like a merman
Gotta run gotta run now, Ingmar Bergman
Gonna get gonna get that tiny German
Yeah, this game is grand, yeah it’s Mega Man part two!
Part three was good and four was pretty good, and five and six were okay,
but seven makes the cherubim cry
Wuh-Pow pow!

THE MEGAS:
I can’t believe how much I fought

BRENTALFLOSS:
Me either dude.

THE MEGAS:
I beat your eight robots, it’s time you’re stopped, Dr. Wily.

BRENTALFLOSS:
Here we go!

THE MEGAS:
Ready, it’s time to get set, put on your blue helmet, this time we’ll get Dr. Wily

BRENTALFLOSS: (Simultaneously)
Gotta run gotta run now, gotta run gotta run now, Guy Smiley
Gotta run gotta run now, Bill O’Reilly
Gonna get gonna get you, Dr. Wily,
I am Mega Man...

THE MEGAS AND BRENTALFLOSS:
Let’s get him!

BRENTALFLOSS:
You know They say his mustache is the source of his villainous power
I’ll find a way to cut that and he’ll reveal he’s just a dainty little flower!

THE MEGAS:
I want to be the one who fights for justice, I want to be the one
(I’ve got to be the one)
I want to be the one who fights against you, Dr. Wily

BRENTALFLOSS: (Simultaneously)
Mega man, mega man...
Although I like your mustache

THE MEGAS:
My name is Mega Man, and I’ll do all I can to save mankind.

BRENTALFLOSS: (Simultaneously)
Gotta run gotta run now, gotta run gotta run now, jump or fall
Gotta run gotta run now, Andy Warhol
Gonna get gonna get you once and for all,
I am Mega Man, here’s my mega plan, you’re pwned!
Track Name: brentalfloss feat. The Konami Kode - Paperboy With G-Rated Lyrics
SPOKEN INTRO:
[What if Paperboy had lyrics? And what if I sang them accompanied by The Konami Kode, a supa-cool video game cover band? It’d sound like this… but first, I’d have to, ya know, ride over this little ravine and… throw a newspaper at a target for some reason and then… at the very end, there’s all these people in bleachers…by all these people I mean like three people in bleachers… but they’re cheering for some reason… I don’t really know what that was about, but whatever. Here we go.]

Don’t you know me? I’m your paperboy.
Throwing bundles of newspaper joy,
This neighborhood’s a loony bin
I’d rather throw the news in Compton
If you live here, you’re probably crazy
Lock your dog up, stop that baby!

I’m on duty, it’s all about discipline
Please don’t strike me with that rolling pin
I sometimes miss when I throw
Sorry I broke your window

Can’t maneuver over sewer drains
Which is funny, ‘cause it never rains

[Instrumental break]

Can’t stop riding, it’s just what I do
My bike pedals are glazed with superglue
I’m on my bike, perpetually
I lay in bed, bike lays with me

On this side street, rules are strict and tight
New subscribers, paint your house white
I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel
Then I wake up and do it for real

They make me wear this backwards hat,
why are you rolling tires down your driveway please don’t do that!
Now it’s Sunday, I am done, I’m out.
No mo’ papers, no mo’ paper route
I’m gonna get a job at Wal-mart.
Track Name: Final Fantasy IV Love Theme With G-Rated Lyrics
[Spoken intro]

HOMESTAR RUNNER:
I just love brentalfloss
He throws candy with a gentle toss
I would dip French fries in brental-sauce
When he’s gone, I feel a brental-loss, oh,
His head is shiny… he makes Englishmen say “Blimey”… when I see his face, I cry-yyy
You don’t think I will? Just try me.

I mean he’s—
I just love him so much.
Forever and ever.
I want him to have my baby corns… mostly because I don’t eat baby corns.
They freak me out.
Plus, they’re babies.
Track Name: Dr. Mario With G-Rated Lyrics (Fever Theme)
I am Doctor Mario and I am saving lives
I look different in this game,
(I lost the hat, got a coat, doctor light, stethoscope)
I am Doctor Mario and I prescribe high fives
Laughter's the best medicine, so BAH-HAH-HAH that’ll be twenty bucks.
In the Mushroom Kingdom, I'm the finest doc by far
(What?! Liar! Boo.)
I got my degree by watching House and Scrubs and E.R.
Brightly colored pills! (Pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (Ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills (Cold)

I’ll check your lungs
Breathe naturally
You sound real bad.
[Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze]
Oh, wait that’s-a-me...
..how embarrassing.

Does it hurt right here?
BRENTALFLOSS: No.
MARIO: Does it hurt right there?
BRENTALFLOSS: No.
MARIO: Mr. Floss I think you’ve got receding hair.
BRENTALFLOSS: Uhh…

MARIO: You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis, fifteen days is my prognosis
You need red and blue pill doses!
You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis,
You'll be brave and you'll unite us, but you might catch menengitis
Wait wait—I'm wrong—you have...the plague?
BRENT: The plague?
MARIO: Don’t touch me!

Brightly colored pills! (Pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (Ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills!
Take it Floss!
BRENTALFLOSS: I’m playin’ the piano and I’m playin’ really good ahnnahnna
Dr. Mario!
Track Name: Mushroom Kingdom (G-Rated)
Mushroom Kingdom, you’re a scary place
There’s a teacup copter with a scary clown face,
Oh schmoop; it’s King Koop.

Mushroom Kingdom, he will make you cry
Unless a hero comes to save your populi...
of fungi.

Oh my!

Mario!
Busts out of a pipe!
Your hero has arrived!
He’ll save your extra life!

Mushroom Kingdom, now your castle’s breached.
Koopa’s gonna have your precious Princess Peach in reach.
Mushroom Kingdom you are growing wild
Who will battle this redhead stepchild and win? (Again.)

It’s him! Yeah!

Mario!
He gets mad superpowers
From eating leaves and flowers
And he can go for hours

Mario!
Grab that tail real tight!
Spin with all your might!
And watch King Koop take flight!

Mario!

(Yeahh)